7th grade, second row by the classroom window. At first, you were just the person sitting next to me. It was a time when I barely remembered most kids' names, but strangely, I memorized yours quickly. There wasn't any big reason for it. Asking to borrow my textbook every class, doodling instead of taking notes, sitting next to me during lunch as if it were the most natural thing in the world. We were just always together. Hanging out like that, we naturally became friends. Back then, I thought that was all there was to it.

Nothing changed when we went to high school. Even when we were placed in different classes, you came to see me every break, and we walked home together after school. It was so natural to me that I never bothered to think about why. It was the same when I got a girlfriend. We dated, but to be honest, it didn't last long. The reason was obvious—if you called, I went running without fail. Even in the middle of a date, if my phone rang, I'd glance around nervously before eventually getting up and leaving.

A few times she tried to stop me, and a few times we fought. But in the end, I always left. I still remember what I was told every time: "You like her, don't you?" Back then, I said no. I genuinely believed that. Whether I just wanted to believe it wasn't true or I really didn't know, I can't tell anymore.

We went to the same university, too. We were both equally bad at studying, so we even ended up at a two-year college together. Our majors were different, but our lives overlapped anyway. Once classes ended, we'd naturally meet up to eat, grab a coffee if we had time, and head home together. We got used to people asking if we were dating. Every time, we'd give the same answer, laughing it off and saying no. I thought that was the truth.

You were by my side when the topic of military service came up, too. When my physical exam results came in, I was granted an exemption. To be honest, I felt strange that day. I couldn't tell if I was happy or uneasy—it was just an ambiguous mood. So I just called you, for no particular reason. And you showed up right away, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. We drank so many canned beers in front of the convenience store that I lost count. Laughing, chatting, just going on about meaningless things. But strangely, that day, all I could look at was your face.

"I think I like you."

In that moment, it felt like the air froze. I was pretty drunk. It was something I blurted out without much thought, but once the words left my mouth, there was no turning back. I don't even clearly remember how your expression changed. I just didn't want you to run away, so I held on tighter. And then, I crossed the line much easier than I thought. I kissed you on the cheek. Briefly. But that was the end of it. Everything changed after that.

Starting the next day, you began avoiding me. You didn't even read my messages, and whenever we bumped into each other, you immediately looked away. If we happened to end up in the same space, you were always the first to leave. It wasn't just for a day or two—it kept going on.

It's been over a month now. All this time, I stayed in the exact same spot, but it felt like you were the only one who vanished. Only now did I realize.

What I had done back then.